As I held him for the very first time, I looked into his eyes awash with emotions. My son! Was this true was I actually holding in my arms, my son. I had dreamed of this moment for as long as I could remember, and I knew that nothing would ever be the same. My life, the choices I’d make were no longer for me. Every decision I would make would be made with this beautiful young child I held in my arms in mind in mind, and I would have it no other way. I would go to war to protect this child; I would let no one or nothing hurt him physically, mentally, or spiritually. Despite my happiness, there was still a small part of me that wondered was it fair to bring him into this world. A world that will not look upon his beautiful bronze skin for the magnificence It represented. Instead, they will look at it as a threat. He will be a target, and each day he leaves the house, I will have to worry if he will return. He will have to work twice as hard to be considered an equal of those less talented than him. They will question him at every step. Was it fair to bring such innocence, such beauty into such an ugly world? Was it selfish on my part? Will I be able to protect my son? These are the thoughts that run through my mind in what should be a moment of unbridled joy. This sadly is the reality of being a black man in America
Today I found my mind racing with worry about something that I am dealing with. Then I got up from my desk to go to the men’s room (TMI I know) and did so without grabbing my cane. On the way back I noticed no limp, no stagger, almost like nothing ever was wrong. Not bad I thought I am getting so much stronger everyday and that’s when my inner Keanu Reeves took over WHOA! I thought that’s it exactly, I’m getting stronger everyday. When did I start getting stronger? When I put my faith in the Lord and started doing things like walking everyday and riding the exercise bike, when I quit worrying about will I ever walk like before. That’s when I started getting stronger.
So why am I letting worry consume me now?
Look what the Lord has already done for me.
Look at all I have to be grateful for.
I only need to keep my faith in the Lord and keep working on a solution because worry can only fill my soul with fear. But faith in the Lord and action on my part will lead me to the successful outcome I seek. In this I have no doubt because with Him nothing is impossible.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 New International Version (NIV)
7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
I do not worry about the pursuit of earthly riches.
I do not fret about my status in life.
I have cast away my fears of failure.
I do not allow self doubt to consume me.
I have been relieved of all my worry.
What if I told you all of this is because:
I give my heart and soul unconditionally to the Lord.
I believe that through my faith the Lord forgives me of my sin and loves me unconditionally in return.
I am strengthened in the knowledge that I do not walk alone on this journey. That He is guiding me and protecting me each step of the way.
I believe that with the Lord all things are possible.
I am emboldened in the knowledge that through my prayers, praise and faith in Him. The Lord will rain down blessings upon me.
What if I told you that by setting aside your pride and allowing the spirit of the Lord to consume you that you too could be freed of self doubt, worry and the pursuit of earthly riches. Would you? Could you?