Oracle: But you already know what I’m going to tell you.
Neo: I’m Not The One…..
Oracle: Sorry, kid. You got the gift, but it looks like you’re waiting for something…
Oracle: Your next life maybe, who knows?
About a month and a half ago, my heart stopped for what I was told was 30 minutes. Doctors told my family it doesn’t look good, that if I did survive, brain damage was likely. Yet I was told the team continued to work to bring me back long past the time they would typically work on someone; thankfully, I had that AR always resuscitate order LOL. Less than a week later, after being heavily sedated, I was awake and alert with no brain damage. Some hospital workers and the hospital chaplain started calling me miracle man. Since that time, I have been in the hospital recovering, unable to walk or sit up as my core/trunk muscles had atrophied. Having to rely on others to clean you after going to the bathroom on a bedpan is a humbling experience. Depression began to set in. With family and friends’ help, I realized there was no need to be depressed; instead, I should celebrate this “next life” that I had been granted that I had the gift and was given this new chance to realize my destiny.
“I am a Jedi. I’m one with the Force, and the Force will guide me.”
“For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is.”
“Close your eyes. Feel it. The light… it’s always been there. It will guide you.”
“Now I know there is something strong than fear — far stronger. The Force.”
Having realized that I was given this second chance to realize my destiny, I needed to understand how I could begin to accomplish it. First, I needed to heal myself physically; I needed to get stronger. Thoughts of pumping my body full of pills and merely doing the exercises the therapists were showing me would accomplish this were flawed as my progress was minimal. But then, what night I had a breakthrough in my thinking, I came to understand that to heal physically and mentally, I needed to tap into my belief in myself and my faith in the Lord. As with the fictional Force, I understood that the Lord is a powerful ally and has always been there. I simply needed to close my eyes, listen closely, feel his healing power and allow him to guide me in my recovery. Once I became one with the Lord, I knew nothing would be impossible.
I have subsequently been transferred to a rehabilitation center, and each day, I close my eyes and call on the Lord to give me the strength to move forward in my rehab to get stronger each day. I visualize that he is wrapping me in bright white light and that his healing hand is touching my soul, giving me the belief that I have it within me to overcome the physical issues before me that I can sit up, stand up and walk. As each day goes by, I have seen myself gaining strength. I can pull myself up; I can stand, I can walk.
I am still searching for what my ultimate purpose is. What my “gift” is. Why have I been given this next life? Who knows, maybe it as simple as sharing my story of faith and belief to help others find theirs. Whatever it may be, I do believe now that in this next life, I have been blessed with the Lord is guiding me, and with the Lord by my side, nothing is impossible.