Enjoy reading the blog then you and you’re friends will love reading the perfect coffee table book for Valentine’s Day- Listen Intently, KIss Passionately, Love Intensively, Respect Eternally. The thoughts and musings of an ordinary guy about love
Plus feel inspired and get your motivation on with-A God for Us The thoughts and musings of an ordinary guy.
A while back I wrote a blog post titled suddenly in the stars in which I discussed the role destinity plays in finding your soulmate. With the season of love upon us I repackaged part of that post to express my current feelings. Now I know repackaging blog post is a bit fugazy but some of you reading this never read the other post so it’s all good. Plus they do it in Holloywood all the time 😄 So enjoy
As Valentine’s Day approaches I find myself pondering the randomness of life. One step to the left or one step to the right could start a series of events that change the course of your entire life. Sometimes that turn leads to that special someone and it becomes clear that everything up until that very moment was in preparation for it. You will never forget the moment you first:
Smiled at each other
Made each other laugh
Held each other’s hand
Kissed each other’s lips
Said I love you to each other
If you have been so lucky, soak it up. Bask in the euphoria, shout it so that all that can hear, show it so that all can see and let no one dampen your enthusiasm for your love.
For those whose turns have led to false starts, fleeting affairs and dead ends. For those who may be experiencing feelings of despair this Valentine’s Day. Fear not remember life is random and while your last turn may not not have led to that someone special the next one or the one after just might. Until then revel in your own awesomeness and awesome you are and take comfort in knowing that your someone special is out there turning too just waiting to turn into you.
You just went into Rite Aide to buy some toothpaste and everywhere you looked there were reminders of that February holiday coming up, Valentine’s Day. For many Valentine’s Day is a happy occasion it’s the one “official” day in the year in which we express our feelings of love for that someone special, feelings that we do or should express every day, but even though we should express those feeling every day let’s remember the important reason for this “official” day of expression, the economy, because without it how else could the florist justify that ridiculous marked up for roses. But I digress let get back to the topic at hand. While so many find Valentine’s Day to be a day of joy and love for others it can be overwhelming. No one to send flowers to or receive flowers from. No dinner date. No one’s hand to hold as you walk down the street. No one to cuddle with as the day draws to an end. For many this “official” day of love reminds them that they are single and while they have been telling themselves and anyone who would listen that they love being single when faced with so much love being thrown in their face they are forced to face an ugly truth, being single sucks. Not that they would ever admit it to anyone. So, they solider on smiling and laughing on the outside while crying on the inside determined not to show anyone how they truly feel. Of course, this facade makes it impossible for anyone to offer them a shoulder to lean on, because as far as everyone can tell they’re just fine. So, that leaves it up them to right the ship on their own and boy that’s not easy. If you’re one these people let me offer my unsolicited three steps plan to start the healing process. Step one is to understand that being single does not mean you are alone. If you took a step back and counted your friends, friends who love you and are always there you would know you are not alone. If you took a step back and thought about your family. Mothers and Fathers, Brothers and Sisters, Aunt and Uncles and those countless cousins who love you to death you would know you are not alone. Romantic relationship may come and go but many of your friends and families have been in your life longer than you can remember and they don’t plan on going anywhere. The second step is not too despair, not too give up hope. Once hope is lost gone is any chance of finding the happiness you are seeking. You see life is a journey and each day represents a new step and each new step represents new possibilities. One day that next step will lead you to the happiness you are seeking but only if you can maintain the strength to take that next step. So, don’t despair. The last part of the process is to not give up on love. It may have hurt, left a giant scar on your soul. But rather than run from it, hide from it, pretend it doesn’t exist, you should embrace it, learn from it, grow from it, gain strength from it. Make your hurt a symbol of strength, of survival. Make your hurt a symbol of your rebirth. So, there you have it three steps for you to follow on your journey back to happiness. Good Luck
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you’re doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can’t get no relief,
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
When Queen’s lead vocalist and pianist the incomparable Freddie Mercury wrote those words as the opening to the song Somebody to Love he may as well have been speaking for the millions of people who find themselves alone at this time of the year. We survived going to the family Thanksgiving dinner solo. The empty feeling of waking up on Christmas morning knowing there would be no smile, no hug, no I love you from our significant other as they unwrapped their gift. No special person to kiss as the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve. We did it all with a smile, a smile that hid the tears that we let only the mirror see. Now comes our last hurdle, Valentine’s day. It’s seemingly everywhere. In the drug store card aisle, on the radio and television, we swear if we hear one more advertisement for 1-800-Flowers or Kay Jewelers and that annoying every kiss begins with K jingle we’re going to scream. The worst reminder, our own e-mail because not only does it remind us that we’re alone but also that we weren’t always. It reminds us of what once was because we forgot to cancel that reminder from 1-800-Flowers that Valentine’s day is coming up and we should make it a special one for (insert name) by placing our order early this year. We thought we would be over this feeling by now. We thought we had done everything right. We focused on ourself. Dropped a few pounds, brought some new clothes, went back to school or got a new job. We followed all the self-help books right down to the letter, hell we even stopped going to that psychic who we had hoped would tell us that (insert name) was coming back. To everyone else we are doing just fine; we’re doing so much better they all say, I don’t even think about them anymore we say. Yet when no one is around and we’re alone in our thoughts we still ask ourselves why? Why can’t I find someone to love? We thought we had showed them how much we loved them and we thought they loved us back. We ask ourselves every chance we get why and yet as Freddie Mercury said we just can’t get no relief. Is it so much to ask to have someone’s hand to hold, lips to kiss, someone to lay down with every night and wake to every morning, someone to love we ask. In many ways our lives seems so empty we wonder will it ever not be. But next time we look in that mirror and see our tears falling down remember our own heart, remember our own soul. Remember who we are and what we can give. Remember we have someone to love and that person is ourselves. As corny as that sounds it’s truer than we could ever imagine. I won’t pretend that it will make the pain go completely away, I won’t pretend that it will completely fill that void of wanting someone to share our life with. I know it won’t because it didn’t for me. But it did help me take a step back and remember just how special I really was and with that realization I came to understand as you will also that one day you’ll have two people to love yourself and that someone special.