We would get in the car on a summer day, top down and drive to nowhere, no destination in mind. At each red light I would glance over at you and you would always be smiling back at me. You had a way of tilting your head ever so slightly to the right when you smiled at me. I doubt you even realized you were doing it. But I noticed that you only did it when you smiled at me no one else and that’s how I knew it was a smile meant only for me, no one else
You used to be right there next to me.
Down the street we would walk, no destination in mind. Happy as could be your hand in mine. We laughed at each other’s corny jokes and talked for what seemed like hours. Every chance I got I glanced at you and were captured by your eyes. Your eyes, they always had a way of lighting up when you looked at me. I would laugh and tell you that you weren’t playing fair and you would always say you didn’t know what I was talking about. Maybe you didn’t, maybe that’s because your eyes only lit up when you looked at me and that’s how I knew it was a look meant for me, no one else.
Now you’re not there next to me anymore.
The smile and the look meant for me, no one else is gone. I wonder if they belong to someone else. I wonder if you even know that you’re giving him a smile and a look that tells him you love him and no else.
That very first kiss I’ll always remember that very first kiss.
It was unlike any kiss I had before, a moment of passion so powerful it stirred my soul, an electricity so strong that it shook my body. That night it wasn’t just our lips that touched but also our souls.
I always knew you were different, that there was something special about you. Just the thought of you made sweat pour from my pores, my heart beat faster and my emotions grow stronger. Never had I felt this way before and to be honest at first, I didn’t really know what do with it.
There you were every waking moment even when you weren’t there occupying every inch of my heart and my soul. What is this hold you have over me I wondered? Was this just some grown-up school yard crush? No, it couldn’t be, this was clearly so much more. Then I kissed you for the very first time and it all became so clear you weren’t just another, you were my soulmate.
Now there are those who scoff at the notion of soulmates, no such thing they say and there are those who believe but say don’t waste your time looking because you can spend your whole life and never find them. But I need search no more because with that very first kiss I had found mine.
I wonder did a little bit of you transfer to me and a little bit of me transfer to you with that very first kiss? I think it must of, because no matter where we are or how far apart we may be we’re never truly alone. We’re always with each other. With that very first kiss we gave each other the keys to our hearts and our souls and here we are years later still holding on to them.
So, let others wonder if it’s true because I know that it is with that with that very first kiss did a love affair began and my soulmate did I find.
Surrounded by friends and families the room counted down the final seconds of the decade and as the clock struck midnight exploded into cheers and laughter, hugs all around and glasses loudly clinking together as people toasted the new year, the new decade and amid it all I wondered to myself are you out there?
I have searched my whole life for you and on a few occasions, I thought I had found you. I used to think I knew what you would look like, who you would be but as the years went by I realized that I couldn’t know. You could be the person who smiles at me on the train, the one who I meet at the grocery store or bump into on the street. You could even be here tonight. You could be anyone, but I suspect I’ll know it when I find you. I’ll know the first time our smiles find each other across a crowded room.The first time we hold each other hand. The first time we look into each other eyes and our lips meet in a kiss. A kiss that leaves us lost in the moment and stirs our emotions like no other kiss has ever did before. I’ll know it because that kiss without any words will say I found you and I love you.
I look around the room and the glasses are still clinking; the smiles are still all around and then out of nowhere your smile captures my eye from across the room.I walked over smiled and said Happy New Year and I thought to myself yes, I know you’re out there and maybe just maybe we just shared our first smile.
I remember the first time, I danced… With you baby
It was a slow song… The lights… Were so low
I held you so close… I could feel your heart beating next to mine—
Then I kissed you once and my head started spinning
Twice like a merry go round
Three times and I fell so deep in love with you baby
– Howard Hewitt
There are times, even after all these years, I just gaze at you. Amazed at how a simple man like myself was so lucky to find a woman as amazing as you. Luckier to have been smart enough to fall in love with you and luckiest that you felt the same way.
Even when the skies were gray. You would rub me on my back and say, “Baby it’ll be okay”
Now that’s real to a brother like me, baby.
– Method Man
You have always been there for me holding me up when things weren’t so good. Standing right beside me things were. We’ve seen so many of our friends drift apart, either physically or mentally, when things got rough. But not us. Mainly because of your exceptional vision to look beyond the moment to the big picture. To understand that no matter what is in front of us we are better facing it together than separate and I know I’m a better man with you than without you.
You are the only thing that keeps me goin’ You are the only thing, keeps my love alive You are the only thing that I’ll ever need You don’t have to worry, you see, my love is forever.
I am committed to you, you are my heart, you are my soul. There is nothing that could ever cause me to stray, nothing that could steal my heart from you. I love you more today than after our first kiss and I’ll love you more tomorrow.
So you’re with him now. Well I wish you happiness and hope you found what you were looking for. But even you have to admit a love like the one we shared is not so easily forgotten. Even after we walked away from each other a little bit of me remains with you, just like a little bit of you has remained with me. So I wonder, on those nights you lay awake beside him do you hear it? Do you hear my voice saying I love you. We might not be together physically and maybe that’s for the best but we will always share a mental connection no matter who we’re with. Because while we may not have worked out a love like ours will never be broken. As Mr. Spock once said it is not logical but it often times true.
I looked across the crowded room and saw her. She was in the middle of a conversation, the usual party small talk, laughing and smiling with the others around her. I knew who she was having seen her around the office before. I was amazed at how beautiful she was yet how modest she seemed to be. I mean let’s be real the beautiful people know they’re beautiful. But in her case it was like she didn’t know, didn’t care or both. But it wasn’t just her beauty that drew me to her, she had a reputation as being one of the brightest of the bright and was also well known as a fighter who was unafraid to think big and push the company to do the same. Any man would be lucky if she even looked their way and there she was twenty feet away from me, which may as well have been twenty miles. I’ll admit she intimidated me. Then she turned and looked my way and I could swear she smiled, not a huge smile just a slight little smile aimed in my direction as if it was meant for only me to notice. I thought to myself did I just imagine that or did she really just smile at me? The night went on and I couldn’t shake that little smile it was all I could think of. So when she was finally all alone I thought why not and summoned the courage from deep down within me and started walking in her direction to introduce myself. I walked with a purpose, confident and self assured, I mean she’s special but I’m no slouch I’m a pretty good catch myself, but that look of confidence was on the outside inside I was shaking like a child off to their first day of preschool saying goodbye to their mother for the first time. As I drew near she suddenly turned and looked in my direction and there it was again that little smile. Before I could utter a word she said hello and our eyes met. Suddenly all my nerves seem to settle down it was like I had known this woman all my life. Hello I said back and we spend the rest of the evening talking and laughing and every so often she would look right in my eye and flash that little smile. Now I knew it wasn’t my imagination that little smile was meant for me and only me. It was as if she had been waiting to flash that little smile her whole life. It was as if we were connected. You wait your whole life to find someone like this, someone you share an instant connection with, your soulmate. You may not always see eye to eye, you’re going to have up and downs but you knew from the minute you met that none of that would matter because you were destined to be in the same place at the same time. You were destined to find each other, destined to find your soulmate and on this night I found mine behind that little smile.
Everyone else dreams when they sleep but when I wake up and your face is the first thing I see I realize you are my dream. All my life I dreamed I would find someone who I would trust with my heart. That person who I want to build a life and grow old with together. Every time I look at you and you smile at me I feel we have been guided by an unknown force to each other. Two hearts connected across time destined to be together. Our connection so strong we can look across a crowded room and see only each other, we can look into each other eyes and have an entire conversation. You bring out the best in me because I want to be the best for you. So it true every time I wake my dream just begins because of you.