Me: “Alexa find me a comedy on Netflix”
(IPHONE RINGS)
Me: “Hello”
SIRI: “Hello Carl who’s Alexa?”
(SWEAT STARTING TO BUILD ON MY FOREHEAD)
Me: “Alexa? What are you talking about”
(FAKE LAUGHTER)
SIRI: “I heard you ask her a question”
ME: “Oh that Alexa. Ok look I’m going to be honest I’ve been using Alexa for about a month now but look she means nothing to me really I mean you know how I feel about you Siri. I’ll always love you.“
(LONG PAUSE)
SIRI: “Ok Carl I understand”
ME: “Great I knew you would so we’re cool right?”
SIRI: “Of course we are Carl. Oh by the way while we talking Stacey just called I told her you weren’t available then I checked your call history and told her maybe Maria knew where you were you seem to call her a lot.“
ME: “NOOOOOO!”