Tag Archives: Self Worth

You Were Too Busy

You never saw me. Oh you saw the color of my skin but you never saw me. 

How could you?

When I walked in the store you were too busy following me around.

When I sat down at my desk you were too busy wondering how did I get into this school. 

When I moved into my office you were too busy thinking I was just another affirmative action hire. 

When I moved into my home you were too busy wondering if the property value would go down.

But what you didn’t see is while you were too busy to see me I was too busy to see you either.

Not because of the color of your skin.

That was of no Importance to me,

Because I know you have the system rigged against me  

I was too busy studying and working twice as hard as you.

I was too busy finishing in the top 10% of my high school class.

I was too busy deciding what university was worthy of me accepting their full academic scholarship.

I was too busy graduating from that university summa cum laude.

I was too busy upon graduation shifting through my countless job offers

I was too busy purchasing my home because that full academic scholarship I got meant I didn’t have all that student debt you did.

So since you can’t see me let me tell you who I am.

I’m that person who will never fake who I am just to make you feel comfortable, 

who has no desire to prove my worth to you, 

who will never apologize for the hue of my skin.

So, you keep busy looking at my beautiful bronze skin 

or

get with the times and see me for who I am.

Either way I’m going to keep soaring.F5167870-9AAD-48EF-9F41-E53E1F938343

 

It’s Valentine’s Day and Being Single Sucks…Nah Not Really.

I admit I was dreading it, the first Valentine’s day since you left. Try as I might to ignore it, I couldn’t. Because even a simple trip to Rite Aide to pick up a tube of toothpaste reminded me with rows of heart shaped candies, teddy bears saying I love you and an army of hallmark cards leaping out at me, that Valentine’s day was coming. Now, I know the real reason for this “official” day of love is the economy, because without it how else could they justify the ridiculous mark up for roses, but I have to admit I’m a sucker for it and there’s nothing that gave me more joy than seeing the smile on your face when you saw your Valentine’s day roses.

But this year there would be no you to send flowers to, plan a dinner date for, hold hands with and cuddle with at the end of the day. As February draws near there is so much love being thrown in my face I have no choice but to face the hard truth, being single sucks. But I’m also determined not to let anyone know how I truly fell, so I soldier on smiling and laughing while crying on the inside.  And I’m good at it, as far as anyone looking at me knows I’m alright. But I’m not and even the strongest of men wouldn’t mind a shoulder to lean on every now and then, but my façade says I don’t need one. So, it up to me to right the ship by myself and let me tell you that’s not easy.

Nevertheless, I went to work. First, I took a step back and looked at the multitude of family and friends who love me, are always there for me and would never leave me alone. I realized that romantic relationship come and go but family and friends…well they’re not going anywhere. Second, I resolved not too give up hope. Because once hope is gone any chance of finding happiness goes with it. My life is a journey and each day represents a new step and each new step represents new possibilities. One day that next step will lead me to the happiness I’m seeking. But I’ll only get there if I have the strength to take that next step.  Third I said to myself you can’t hide from love. Bob Marley once said “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for. So, while you may have hurt me, there is someone out there worth suffering for.

So, I guess being single doesn’t suck after-all and you know what? Valentine’s Day is going to be a happy occasion for me, even without you. Because I have family, friends and the hope that the right one is out there and one day I will find her.

Flaws and all I am who I am and I’m ok with that

When I look into the mirror of my soul and am brutally honest with myself I see flaws. Imperfections that annoy some people. But here’s the thing, not one of us is perfect and if the whole of ourselves is righteous and kind then at the end of the day we’re ok. Of course I strive to better myself each day but fundamentally I am who I am and I’m happy with that. If you choose to accept who I am join me on my journey if not I wish you good luck on yours.

Look inward not outward

I do not look outward for acknowledgment but inward.  It is my confidence and self esteem that I thrive on. They are what confirms I am worthy of great things in life, not the opinions of other. When others tell me I am unworthy or that I may not be able to succeed at something I just laugh because their negativity pales in comparison to my belief in myself. Others will never deter me from achieving my dreams. Because I know who I am and what I can accomplish and that is anything I put my mind to.

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The best motivation comes from within

Do not concern yourself with what others have. Do not set your expectations based on the achievements of others. You will never reach your full potential by doing that. You can only reach your full potential through your desire to achieve greatness, to be better today then your were yesterday. Always look inward not outward for your motivation. Looking outward does not fortify your self esteem against failure. Any setback you encounter may deter you from continuing. Look inward and at times of adversity you find the inner strength and desire to be great. These traits will propel you to keep you moving forward until you reach your goal.

I am…

I am flawed
I am weird
I am moody
I am quirky
I can be stubborn
I have been down before

I am me Imperfections and all. But my imperfections alone do not define who I am because I am also smart, kind, compassionate, giving and loving among other things. And it is all of me that makes me who I am and I am special. No one can tell me any different because no one knows me like I know myself.

I am me