Tag Archives: self esteem

It’s Valentine’s Day and Being Single Sucks…Nah Not Really.

I admit I was dreading it, the first Valentine’s day since you left. Try as I might to ignore it, I couldn’t. Because even a simple trip to Rite Aide to pick up a tube of toothpaste reminded me with rows of heart shaped candies, teddy bears saying I love you and an army of hallmark cards leaping out at me, that Valentine’s day was coming. Now, I know the real reason for this “official” day of love is the economy, because without it how else could they justify the ridiculous mark up for roses, but I have to admit I’m a sucker for it and there’s nothing that gave me more joy than seeing the smile on your face when you saw your Valentine’s day roses.

But this year there would be no you to send flowers to, plan a dinner date for, hold hands with and cuddle with at the end of the day. As February draws near there is so much love being thrown in my face I have no choice but to face the hard truth, being single sucks. But I’m also determined not to let anyone know how I truly fell, so I soldier on smiling and laughing while crying on the inside.  And I’m good at it, as far as anyone looking at me knows I’m alright. But I’m not and even the strongest of men wouldn’t mind a shoulder to lean on every now and then, but my façade says I don’t need one. So, it up to me to right the ship by myself and let me tell you that’s not easy.

Nevertheless, I went to work. First, I took a step back and looked at the multitude of family and friends who love me, are always there for me and would never leave me alone. I realized that romantic relationship come and go but family and friends…well they’re not going anywhere. Second, I resolved not too give up hope. Because once hope is gone any chance of finding happiness goes with it. My life is a journey and each day represents a new step and each new step represents new possibilities. One day that next step will lead me to the happiness I’m seeking. But I’ll only get there if I have the strength to take that next step.  Third I said to myself you can’t hide from love. Bob Marley once said “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for. So, while you may have hurt me, there is someone out there worth suffering for.

So, I guess being single doesn’t suck after-all and you know what? Valentine’s Day is going to be a happy occasion for me, even without you. Because I have family, friends and the hope that the right one is out there and one day I will find her.

They Questioned

The people in the store questioned if I should to be there.

My classmates questioned if I should be there.

My colleagues questioned if I should be there.

The authorities in my neighborhood questioned if I should be there.

They question without knowing who I am.

They question without really seeing me.

They question because of the color of my skin.

But know this

I make no apologies for the color of my skin.

I have no desire to prove my worth to them.

I will not fake who I am just to make them feel comfortable.

Let them keep questioning.

Let them keep wondering.

Let them do so as I keep soaring because as James Brown said I’m black and I’m proud.

The Journey

I traveled the long road through the tunnel of despair, depression and self-doubts, and emerged a better person. The journey while difficult was worth it because  you must look despair squarely in the eye to find yourself and at the of my journey I had rediscovered myself.  I realized that receiving the accolades of others, being recognized for my achievements may have made me happy but was not the key to my happiness.  I realized that while I was looking for validation from society the only validation I needed is from with-in. Gone was the fear of failure because I may fail again and its place was the resolve to move forward and seize the possibilities the future holds. I no longer put on a face for the world to believe I was happy but show my real face because I am happy. For in traveling the road back I found the keys to being truly happy, belief  in myself and what I can accomplish. The journey may have been arduous but it helped me to find the strength to discover myself and to believe in my potential.

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Mondays a fresh new canvass

It’s Monday the start of a new week a call to action to embrace new opportunities, to strive to be better today then I was yesterday. I will not be jaded by setbacks from my past.  I will use them as learning experiences and inspiration to overcome any adversity that may come my way moving forward.

Mondays are a fresh new canvass waiting for me to paint my future on.  I will not paint it in black and white rather I will use bold strokes and daring colors. I will not remain within the lines that society says I must instead I will paint outside the lines with the knowledge that nothing is impossible if I dare to dream.

Monday a blank canvass, a new beginning, a chance to seize the possibilities of greatness.

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Look into my eyes

Look into my eyes
Do you see weakness?
Did you ever doubt me?
Did you ever think you could break me?

Maybe you should look closer and you’ll see
The struggles I’ve already overcome
The confidence my parents instilled in me
The sense that I can accomplish anything I want.

So doubt me if you want.
Try to break me if you desire
But know this if you should choose to waste your time and energy doing so when all is said and done I will still be here standing proud and tall.

Look into my eyes and you’ll see that.