Surrounded by friends and families the room counted down the final seconds of the decade and as the clock struck midnight exploded into cheers and laughter, hugs all around and glasses loudly clinking together as people toasted the new year, the new decade and amid it all I wondered to myself are you out there?
I have searched my whole life for you and on a few occasions, I thought I had found you. I used to think I knew what you would look like, who you would be but as the years went by I realized that I couldn’t know. You could be the person who smiles at me on the train, the one who I meet at the grocery store or bump into on the street. You could even be here tonight. You could be anyone, but I suspect I’ll know it when I find you. I’ll know the first time our smiles find each other across a crowded room. The first time we hold each other hand. The first time we look into each other eyes and our lips meet in a kiss. A kiss that leaves us lost in the moment and stirs our emotions like no other kiss has ever did before. I’ll know it because that kiss without any words will say I found you and I love you.
I look around the room and the glasses are still clinking; the smiles are still all around and then out of nowhere your smile captures my eye from across the room. I walked over smiled and said Happy New Year and I thought to myself yes, I know you’re out there and maybe just maybe we just shared our first smile.
She looked at me and said, “You know I always wondered about this but never asked.” “What’s that?” I said. “Well a lot of men I had met or been with in the past weren’t ready for what I brought to the table. Not to brag or sound conceded but a lot of them were intimidated by me because I’m smart, independent, not afraid to speak my mind, and didn’t need a man to validate who I am. Yet there you were and let’s be honest when we met you were apprehensive about women in general after what your ex put you through, but my irresistible charm wore you down you.” She said laughing. “That and your eyes” I said smiling. She continued “Yet despite your apprehension you never seemed to be the least bit intimidate by me.”
I looked at her and said, “You didn’t intimate me because you’re everything I always wanted. A partner who can stimulate my mind, challenge me mentally, and share my insatiable thirst for knowledge. A partner who I can spar with intellectually, one who has their own thoughts and ideas and doesn’t always agree with my positions but can logically justify theirs. A partner who exudes self confidence in both who they are and what they can accomplish.”
“I knew you didn’t need me to validate who you were and that was sexy but I also knew that you understood that I would never leave your side whether I was acting as your sounding board or giving you advice. If I offered you a shoulder to cry on or gave you the space you needed to work it out on your own I knew you were smart enough to understand that when I did those things it wasn’t because of some desire to show you that I am the man but because you’re my partner and I knew you would do the same for me.”
“So, no I wasn’t intimidated by you I was falling in love you.” and with that she looked at me and smiled and said, “You know don’t let this go to your head, but I love you to.”