They’re gone now, but I still know who and what I am, and I love what I see when I look in the mirror. Their presence did make me happy for a while, but it was never the key to my happiness, and yes, their leaving did indeed knock me down at first, but it did not knock me out. It is clear now that our time together wasn’t a test of my character, it was a test of theirs, and they failed, but that’s OK because we’re only human, and we all fail a test sometimes. But I know I’m worth it, others tell me as much, So while they may have thought they broke me, they could not because it’s me who the people love, me who they cheer. I’m the people’s hero, now and forever.
Last Sunday, I spent a good part of my morning and afternoon cooking for the week. Italian meatloaf (really turkey loaf), Cornish game hens, collard greens, black bean soup, and spaghetti with mussels. Rewind almost a year ago, and I was recovering from a cardiac arrest. Those who were there have told me the Doctors on the scene worked to bring me back longer than they should; the priest who stopped in to see me each day in the ICU called me miracle man. My recovery was quicker than was expected. My physical rehabilitation progressed nicely. Three months after the event, I went home from the rehab center and returned to work shortly after. A miracle? Maybe but more likely just another day for the Lord Almighty, who chose to reach down and touch me and say, not yet, my son, there is still work for you to do on this Earth. Now I won’t lie; it hasn’t been smooth sailing since the event some days are better than others there are bumps along the road health-wise. Despite that, every day, I wake and can see and smell the wonderful world around me and know of all the love my family and friends have for me, a love so apparent during my recovery and no doubt a significant factor in it. For this, I am truly blessed, blessed that the hand of the Lord has touched me and given me this second chance at life. It allowed me to spend a Sunday cooking for the week because despite what bumps maybe along the way, in my mind, I know He stands over me and will allow me to wake another day, so I might as well have something to eat on those days. I do not know what His ultimate plan is for me, but I know he has touched me, and he is guiding me, and I am eternally thankful for that.
I came down to the promenade, where I am currently undergoing physical rehabilitation by myself this evening. I Sat down and endeavored to clear my mind. I began to count each breath I took as a gazed out at the Hudson River. A sense of calm overtook me, and I could feel the weight of my worries being lifted.
I genuinely believe that while traditional medicine and a healthy diet are essential in MAINTAINING my health. It is only through my mind and my spirituality will I HEAL. Doctors may say the reversal of my condition is not possible that through medication, I can control it but never eradicate it. Still, the truth is miracles happen every day, and only the Lord has the power to say what is and what isn’t possible.
God has blessed us all with a mind unlike any of his other creations. It is up to us to unlock our minds’ full potential, to allow it to visualize not only what we already know but to let in and imagine what we don’t know. To envision what science has conditioned us to believe in the impossible.
Moving forward, I will endeavor each day to allow my mind to step outside of my physical being and visualize my heart beating strongly and being healthy. With God’s light guiding me, I believe I will get better. He has brought me this far. He has given me a new life. September 1st represents my birthday, My first in this awaken state of spirituality and mind, and I plan on taking full advantage of the second life
He has blessed me with.
For the better part of a decade-plus, I let anger and bitterness fill my heart when it came to a particular family member. The reason for my anger is neither here nor there but suffice to say it was Ironic that despite the fact I was harboring a grudge, I knew that the result of their actions played out to my benefit. It laid the very foundation of the man I am today, and I am very proud of that man. Despite this indisputable fact, I continued to curse the decision and the way it was revealed to me.
Hebrews 12:15 – “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.”
Not acknowledging my bitterness and true feelings during this time robbed me of a family bond that should never be broken. My anger cast a giant shadow on my very being. The rift between that family member and myself by its very nature spilled over to that family member’s immediate family. In essence, I cut myself off from them while not acknowledging that I was doing exactly what I was doing. I missed the birth of many children and the growth of others. I became a stranger to an entire branch of the family tree. I can never put into perspective what those losses have had on me as a person, but I know it could not have been positive. Family is always family, and through anger and bitterness, I had forgotten that.
A recent health issue was the catalyst for me to re-examine and reenergize my faith. Through prayer, the Lord spoke to me and guided me to realize that the very lack of forgiveness is sin. That same lesson is taught to us in “The Lord’s Prayer.”
Matthew 6: 12-15
12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us from the evil one.‘ 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
As explained in Bible.org href=”https://bible.org/article/issue-forgiveness-sermon-mount”>https://bible.org/article/issue-forgiveness-sermon-mount it appears that what Jesus is saying is that God, intending to love the unforgiving child, refuses to forgive him in an attempt to get the child to come face to face with His sin of an unforgiving heart. The person who is unwilling to forgive will soon meet his Equal. The goal of this is to re-establish the broken relationships between God and the people involved.
For me, this realization was like a bright light shining onto the darkness in my heart. The next day, I picked up the phone and called that family member to start the healing process and mend the rift between us. I expressed how wrong I had been and how I wanted us to go back to being a family again. It was an emotional call for both of us, but upon saying the words, I want us to be a family again I could feel the weight lifted. My heart had been released of the bitterness it had stubbornly held for over a decade. I understood that I had finally done the right thing. After all, a family is a family and nothing should break that bond.
Good Morning and Happy Monday
Let us sing with praise yet another opportunity to see a new week and continue our spiritual journey. As the new week begins, remember that there are many new and exciting opportunities waiting for us. Many of them hidden from us in the dark, waiting for us to find them; it is with an unstoppable faith in the Lord that we will find that we are blessed with the vision to shine a light on these opportunities and bring them to fruition. For indeed, the Lord is great, and he has blessed us with many remarkable opportunities for us to claim in his holy name.
Oracle: But you already know what I’m going to tell you.
Neo: I’m Not The One…..
Oracle: Sorry, kid. You got the gift, but it looks like you’re waiting for something…
Oracle: Your next life maybe, who knows?
About a month and a half ago, my heart stopped for what I was told was 30 minutes. Doctors told my family it doesn’t look good, that if I did survive, brain damage was likely. Yet I was told the team continued to work to bring me back long past the time they would typically work on someone; thankfully, I had that AR always resuscitate order LOL. Less than a week later, after being heavily sedated, I was awake and alert with no brain damage. Some hospital workers and the hospital chaplain started calling me miracle man. Since that time, I have been in the hospital recovering, unable to walk or sit up as my core/trunk muscles had atrophied. Having to rely on others to clean you after going to the bathroom on a bedpan is a humbling experience. Depression began to set in. With family and friends’ help, I realized there was no need to be depressed; instead, I should celebrate this “next life” that I had been granted that I had the gift and was given this new chance to realize my destiny.
“I am a Jedi. I’m one with the Force, and the Force will guide me.”
“For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is.”
“Close your eyes. Feel it. The light… it’s always been there. It will guide you.”
“Now I know there is something strong than fear — far stronger. The Force.”
Having realized that I was given this second chance to realize my destiny, I needed to understand how I could begin to accomplish it. First, I needed to heal myself physically; I needed to get stronger. Thoughts of pumping my body full of pills and merely doing the exercises the therapists were showing me would accomplish this were flawed as my progress was minimal. But then, what night I had a breakthrough in my thinking, I came to understand that to heal physically and mentally, I needed to tap into my belief in myself and my faith in the Lord. As with the fictional Force, I understood that the Lord is a powerful ally and has always been there. I simply needed to close my eyes, listen closely, feel his healing power and allow him to guide me in my recovery. Once I became one with the Lord, I knew nothing would be impossible.
I have subsequently been transferred to a rehabilitation center, and each day, I close my eyes and call on the Lord to give me the strength to move forward in my rehab to get stronger each day. I visualize that he is wrapping me in bright white light and that his healing hand is touching my soul, giving me the belief that I have it within me to overcome the physical issues before me that I can sit up, stand up and walk. As each day goes by, I have seen myself gaining strength. I can pull myself up; I can stand, I can walk.
I am still searching for what my ultimate purpose is. What my “gift” is. Why have I been given this next life? Who knows, maybe it as simple as sharing my story of faith and belief to help others find theirs. Whatever it may be, I do believe now that in this next life, I have been blessed with the Lord is guiding me, and with the Lord by my side, nothing is impossible.