How could I’ve been so foolish
How could I’ve not seen who you really were
Smitten by you from the very start
You said you loved me till the very end
Yet those words were never really true
Reached in and stole my heart; you did
Then you took it and threw it away
I see now I was just a game to you
Friends tell me I told you so
That they could see through you from the start
I was hurt
I was broken
But only for a moment
I refuse to stay in the dark
My heart was broken yesterday
But I picked up the pieces
Put them back together today
Now I’m ready to love again
Not afraid to share that love once again
That’s who I am
Out there, someone is just like me
Not afraid to share their love once again
One day we’ll meet
One day we’ll fall in love
One that day will turn into every day
What a wonderful day that will be
There’s a chill in the air tonight, and my bed feels especially chilly because you’re not here with me. It’s true, I still think about you, and how we would cuddle on nights like this, talking and laughing. The look in your eyes warming me like a summer night. There was never anyone like you before, and while there have been others, there has never been anyone like you since. The others all had qualities that made them unique, and though I know I shouldn’t have, when I compared them to you, they could never quite measure up to you. Each kiss only reminded me of the kisses we shared. Each smile only made me long for yours that much more. I suppose the thought of you and what we had will always haunt me. My heart still belongs to you. If that is a good or bad thing, I don’t know, but I know it is true.
Hurt left an indelible scar on my soul.
I cannot run from it.
I cannot hide from it.
I cannot pretend it does not exist.
It has become a part in who I am and what I will become.
So, I will not hide from it,
I will embrace it.
I will learn from it.
I will gain strength from it.
I will grow from it.
The scar will not be a symbol of my pain.
The scar will be a symbol of my survival.
The scar will be a symbol of my strength.
The scar will be a symbol of my rebirth.
Hurt may have left an indelible scar on my soul
but it can not stop me from moving forward no regrets, no remorse
They say time heals all wounds, but time apart from you only grows more painful every day
I long to hear your voice
see your smile
Hold you in my arms
Caress your skin
Kiss your lips
Hold your body next to mine
Given one more chance, I know I would make it right. Be the partner you so deserves, be the man you desire. If you choose to walk away, my heart would be lost forever
Life’s too short to hide your feelings, better to bear your heart and soul than to wake every morning the rest of your life with regret. So let me be brutally honest, I am still very much in love with you; I miss everything about you – the sound of your voice, your breathtaking beauty, your dazzling smile, your mesmerizing eyes, and the sweet taste of your kiss. But most importantly, I miss having you, the woman I love, there every day when I wake up.
It always amazed me – the connection I felt the very first moment I kissed you. Love at first kiss – YES!! When I looked in your eyes after that first kiss, I knew you were the only one I would ever want to spend my life with. You are my best friend, my lover, the person I have given the key to my heart. My love for you has no end of the day – for my love for you is everlasting. I do not need others to confirm this; I only need to know my heart. Despite our time apart, that feeling has not changed; in fact, it has only intensified, and I very much regret letting other things get in the way of me showing that to you every day.
I’m not asking you to go back to how it was. Instead, I’m asking you to go forward, to a new start, a new beginning. I hope that in your heart, somewhere, a little bit of “us” still exists. I know I am not perfect. I know I made some terrible mistakes, and I am very sorry for them; there is not a day that goes by that I don’t deeply regret them. But I have heard it said the past does not erase the future; you learn from your mistakes and become a better person, So I ask that you consider reopening your heart to a future with me, That you allow me to show you that I am still very much the man you fell in love only better having learned from my mistakes. Open your heart once again to us, and I will ensure that every day of our lives will be nothing short of a remarkable and passionate love affair.
Over the past few weeks, my Facebook feed has been filled with pictures of my friend’s children graduating elementary, high school, or college. Going to the junior prom or the prom. All of them are accompanied by posts expressing pride in their children’s accomplishments or lamenting the fact that the years have gone by so fast. I admit that I look at these posts with both jealousy and regret. Jealousy that I don’t have what they have. Regret that I made so many wrong turns in my relationships that I screwed up any chance of having it.
Growing up, I believed that I would live the fairy tale, marry the love of my life, have two children of our own, and adopt one to provide a loving home to a child in need. But life, more often than not, is not a fairy tale. The character Sonny in Bronx Tale said – You’re only allowed three great women in your lifetime. I have had three long-term serious relationships in my life, each of which started with the thought that this might be the one, my soulmate, the woman I start a family and grow old with. Each ended with a broken heart and me thinking, well, here I am again. Each one was devastating in its way, but none more than the last one.
She was the first and only woman I asked to marry me and when she said yes I thought finally I had found the one, my soulmate, the woman I would grow old with. The woman I would post pictures of our children’s accomplishments on Facebook with, she came into the relationship with two children, and she was upfront that she wouldn’t have another child. Despite that, as time went on, I started to feel more and more as I finally had found the family I always wanted. I knew I could never take their father’s place, who was still very much in their lives, but still, it felt like a real family. Only weeks before the breakup, the oldest child drew four pictures. Her mommy, her sister, herself, and me and put them up on the refrigerator. Looking at those pictures brought a huge smile to my face because it was confirmation that not only did I see us as a family, but they did as well. When only a few weeks later, my fiancée informed me that she was now my ex-fiancée; it wasn’t just breaking up with her; it was breaking up with my family. I won’t lie; it was my lowest point. I had never been so depressed, and it took me a while to find myself again, but I eventually did. Despite that, I still wonder if my window has closed that I will never find that woman to grow old with. That I never will be able to post with pride pictures of my children’s accomplishments on Facebook. Not that I’ve given up hope, and I’m still out there swinging, but I still wonder and hope that my window is cracked open just a little bit.