Hurt left an indelible scar on my soul.
I cannot run from it.
I cannot hide from it.
I cannot pretend it does not exist.
It has become a part in who I am and what I will become.
So, I will not hide from it,
I will embrace it.
I will learn from it.
I will gain strength from it.
I will grow from it.
The scar will not be a symbol of my pain.
The scar will be a symbol of my survival.
The scar will be a symbol of my strength.
The scar will be a symbol of my rebirth.
Hurt may have left an indelible scar on my soul
but it can not stop me from moving forward no regrets, no remorse
I close my eyes and listen for the silence. I have subconsciously transported my soul, my inner self, to another level. A level where I am all alone, where nothing or no one can touch me. It is here where I find my peace unburdened by expectations, free to speak, even if no one is listening, my feelings, unafraid of what obstacle a higher power has deemed I must jump over this time. Here I feel free a sense of calm. There is no show to put on for others, no feelings to hold on to so as not to offend others, no worries about the next setback. Here I can just be me. But I know I can not stay in this place. So I open my eyes and the light shines through, the noise is all around and I am transported back to reality. It is back to who I am or who I pretend to be. Others will live their lives unencumbered by who I’m really am. They will live with only a hint of the true me that slips out from time to time. I guess that is the way it must be for as Mr. Spock once said the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few and I am the few.
I am flawed
I am weird
I am moody
I am quirky
I can be stubborn
I have been down before
I am me Imperfections and all. But my imperfections alone do not define who I am because I am also smart, kind, compassionate, giving and loving among other things. And it is all of me that makes me who I am and I am special. No one can tell me any different because no one knows me like I know myself.
I am me
Not going to lie there are some days when I’m feeling a little down, a bit defeated. Then I hear the words of Bob Marley imploring me to Get up, Stand up, Don’t give up the fight. It’s at that point that I realize no matter what is going on in my life I am now and always will be Carl Cooke damn it and no one can ever take that away from me. And it’s when I realize that Bob smiles at me and says when you believe in yourself every little thing gonna be all right.