The heart knows no concept of time, for the heart time is nothing more than a meaningless concept, a man-made measure. It is why the heart of someone who has known love but for a brief period can be broken just as easily and hurt just as much as that of someone who has loved for a long period of time. The heart never asks how long it has been? The heart only knows that it feels the way it does when that special someone walks in the room, smiles at you, holds your hand, looks into your eyes and says they love you. It does not matter to the heart if they have known that person for 2 months, 2 years or 2 decades it only knows that person makes it feel a way no one else does. Others may ask how you could be so hurt after all you only were only with them but for a second and your brain may struggle with that question, but the heart knows. The time your heart needs to heal from the loss of that special person does not equate like some mathematical equation to the amount of time you were with them. Yes, you will get stronger as the days go by and yes you will learn to let go. You will come to a point where you will allow yourself to look back and smile at all the good times you shared without being sad that they are no more. You will embrace the truth, that you will never truly forget them because the heart truly never forgets. But your heart will heal in its own time and then and only then will you be able to open it up to love again.
Life’s too short to hide your feelings, better to bare your heart and soul than to wake every morning the rest of your life with regret. So let me be brutally honest I am still very much in love with you; I miss everything about you – the sound of your voice, your breath taking beauty, your dazzling smile, your mesmerizing eyes and the sweet taste of your kiss. But most important I miss having you, the woman I love there everyday when I wake up.
It always amazed me – the connection I felt the very first moment I kissed you. Love at first kiss – YES!! When I looked in your eyes after that first kiss I knew you were the only one I would ever want to spend my life with. You are my best friend, my lover, the person I have given the key to my heart. My love for you has no end of the day – for my love for you is everlasting. I do not need others to confirm this I only need to know what is in my heart. Despite our time apart that feeling has not changed, in fact it has only intensified and I very much regret letting other things get in the way of me showing that to you everyday.
I’m not asking you to go back to how it was. Rather I’m asking you to go forward, to a new start, a new beginning. I hope that in your heart somewhere a little bit of “us” still exist. I know I am not perfect I know I made some terrible mistakes and I am very sorry for them, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t deeply regret them. But I have heard it said the past does not erase the future, you learn from your mistakes and become a better person So I ask that you consider reopening your heart to a future with me, That you allow me to show you that I am in fact still very much the man you fell in love only better having learned from my mistakes. Open your heart once again to us and I will ensure that each and every day of our lives will be nothing short of a remarkable and passionate love affair.
The pain isn’t so much from knowing that they’re gone but rather in knowing you can’t stop thinking about someone who long since stop thinking about you.
There was a time when I would see your face when I looked at any woman. But that was only an illusion, no more real than any of the times you said the words I love you.
There was a time when I thought I had found my soul-mate in you. But that was only an illusion, no more real than the times you said that you wanted to share your life with me.
There was a time when I believed we would never come to an end. But that was only an illusion, no more real than your what your true feelings were for me.
There was a time but it was only an illusion.
It was just me and her again on a beautiful summer Saturday like so many we had shared before, but on this Saturday that familiar look in her eyes was gone. That look that greeted me on so many mornings and said good night on so many evenings. That look that said I was her man, her hero and she loved me. That look that I thought would always be mine now was replaced with rage. Her voice the same one that used to say I love you was now spewing anger and venom in my direction. To be be clear I was no angel in this encounter, my words back at her were filled with just as much hate and anger as hers. And what had brought us to this ugly place? What was this argument, our last argument, about? A couch, a stupid couch, who gets to keep the stupid couch? There I was standing in front of and yelling about a stupid couch to the woman who all I ever wanted to do from the moment I first saw her was take her in my arms, hold her tight, look into her eyes and tell her I loved her. Looking back it’s pretty clear now what that Saturday afternoon was all about for me, I won’t pretend to say what it was about for her, and it wasn’t about a couch. It was about us and my words of anger that day were in reality cries of desperation. Desperation to hold on to something I loved. Desperation not to see it come to an end. We were something I had put everything emotionally into; she wasn’t just some chick I had hooked up with. She was the woman that I pushed all my chips to the center of the table and went all in on. She was the woman I unequivocally surrendered my heart to. She was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Together we were what no one could tell me wasn’t meant to be. Then it all fell apart and everything I had imagined, the happily ever after, was no more. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t true but the look in her eyes told me that it was. In the end love is crazy like that it can still hold your heart even when the only thing left is to decide who gets to keep the couch.
They say time heals all wounds but that is but a myth. It is your belief in yourself, your desire to keep moving forward without regret of what came before, or fear of what may lie ahead, that truly heals the soul.