Tag Archives: heartbreak

The Voice of a Storm

Quietly I sat looking past her and out the window at the raindrops as they danced to the ground and wondered to myself; How did we even get here?

The rain, I have always loved the rain. Each rainstorm a thing of beauty, with its bolts of lightning and booms of thunder. How it makes the sidewalks glisten, and the umbrellas dance. But what I love about the rain is the thing that makes each storm unique, and that’s its voice. Close my eyes, and I can hear each story that it tells. There was one story, one I’ll never forget, a love story, my love story, and not to be egotistical, but if you saw it, you wouldn’t forget it either.

We sat in the car as the storm swirled all around us. Its lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating the night, its raindrops danced merrily on the roof, and with each thunderclap, its shouted aloud for all to hear, on this night, in this storm, a love affair was about to begin.

It’s in your eyes, what can I say. They turn me on. – Prince

I looked into her eyes because it was always her eyes, mesmerizing in every way; all it took was one look to pull me right in. It was at that moment, in that storm, that I knew there was no escaping her, no turning back. Then she looked back at me and uttered two words kiss me she said. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t resist, and with that kiss, my heart was all in.

She wasn’t like the others, or so that what I thought, and before I knew it, my heart she did possess. She told me she loved me and asked would I always be there. Of course, isn’t it evident, don’t you know I could never love another I said. Looking back now, my mistake was crystal clear; I forgot to ask her is that the way she also feels.

As the years went by, several chapters did we write. Some were good, some were bad, and some a little bit of both. But with each new chapter, it was becoming apparent that what had begun as a brilliant love story was starting to fade.

Now here we sat, a storm swirling all around us—a storm not unlike that first storm but also very different. The raindrops did not dance merrily, the lightning did not joyfully streak across the sky, and the thunder only mustered a whisper. Like on that first night, I looked into her eyes, because it was always her eyes still mesmerizing as ever, but this time all it took was one look to let me go and, at that moment, in that storm, I knew right there was no keeping her, no turning back. She looked at me and uttered four words; we both know it’s done, she said. I knew she was right but couldn’t believe it and with those four words, my heart was let go.

I looked out the window at one last lightning bolt as it streaked across the sky, and with one last thunderclap, the storm shouted aloud for all to hear, on this night, in this storm, a love affair had come to an end.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way

The alarm clock rings and I clumsily reach for the snooze button before turning over and reaching for you, sadly you’re not there.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

With your captivating smile and breathtaking eyes, you were always going to be there.  Now I long to hear your voice say good morning my love just one more time. Sadly, that is reserved for another one now.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

I wonder do you smile at him the way you smiled at me?  Does he, could he, ever love you the way I did? Does his touch, his kiss make you feel the way mine once did and will either of our mornings be same ever again? Sadly, we’ll never know. 

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

We were going to be forever, no expiration date. Destined from the very first kiss, an electricity between us so powerful that when we walked in a room they would all stop and stare, point and yell – look at them you know they’re truly in love. Sadly, all that is gone.

it wasn’t supposed to be this way

Did I take it all for granted? Should I have told you I loved you one more time? Should I have walked away from that last argument? Foolishly I thought our love was powerful enough that it was all we needed, that no man could ever steal you from me, could ever capture your heart the way I did. But now you’re gone. Sadly, I guess I was wrong.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.


Did you ever really love me?

You hesitated for a second then looked right in my eye and said: “To tell you the truth I don’t remember” and just like that you were gone.

In poker it’s called the art of the bluff. the best hand doesn’t always win. Play the hand right and you can force a player with a better hand to walk away simply by playing confidently. However, the risk is great. If the person sitting across from you doesn’t walk away, calls your bluff and pushes their chips to the center of the table… well cards don’t lie, and the best hand wins and you loses everything.

But you offered a completely different take on the bluff, didn’t you? You pretended to be all in and there was no risk at all. Because when I called your bluff and fell in love with you I lost everything. Because you really didn’t put anything in the middle, did you? Only I did, I put my heart in the middle and just like in poker the cards didn’t lie and in this game of love my heart flush lost.

Losing it all was devastating, after all you lied to you. Looked me right in the eyes and told me you loved me, that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me and silly me I believed it Well played your bluff almost broke me, but it’s didn’t. It was simply one bad hand not the beginning of my end. Love is a gamble and I’m willing to take a chance again. Willing to put my heart back on the table again to someone who I will barely know and trust that they aren’t bluffing and are ready to give their heart back to me. I won’t play it safe, afraid to put to get back in the game. Because there’s an old poker that says you can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle, but you can’t win much either. Now unquestionably I would never get hurt again playing it safe. But I’ll also never know the feeling of waking up and looking over at the person next to me with a smile knowing that I’m going to grow old with them, that I would do anything for them and that they would do anything for me. So yeah, I called your bluff and lost, it’s ok a lot of people have done the same thing but like them I’ll lick my wounds, give my heart a moment to mend and then cash back into the game. Because after all I can’t win at the game of love if I don’t play the game of love


The Heart Knows No Time

The heart knows no concept of time, for the heart time, is nothing more than a meaningless concept, a human-made measure. It is why the heart of someone who has known love but for a brief period can be broken just as easily and hurt just as much as that of someone who has loved for an extended time. The heart never asks how long it has been? The heart only knows that it feels the way it does when that special someone walks in the room, smiles at you, holds your hand, looks into your eyes, and says they love you. It does not matter to the heart if they have known that person for two months, two years, or two decades; it only knows that person makes it feel a way no one else does. Others may ask how you could be so hurt; after all, you only were only with them but for a second, and your brain may struggle with that question, but the heart knows. Your heart needs to heal from the loss of that special person does not equate like some mathematical equation to the amount of time you were with them. Yes, you will get stronger as the days go by, and yes, you will learn to let go. You will come to a point where you will allow yourself to look back and smile at all the good times you shared without being sad that they are no more. You will embrace the truth, that you will never truly forget them because the heart truly never forgets. But your heart will heal in its own time, and then and only then will you be able to open it up to love again.

Letter to an ex

Life’s too short to hide your feelings, better to bear your heart and soul than to wake every morning the rest of your life with regret. So let me be brutally honest, I am still very much in love with you; I miss everything about you – the sound of your voice, your breathtaking beauty, your dazzling smile, your mesmerizing eyes, and the sweet taste of your kiss. But most importantly, I miss having you, the woman I love, there every day when I wake up.
It always amazed me – the connection I felt the very first moment I kissed you. Love at first kiss – YES!! When I looked in your eyes after that first kiss, I knew you were the only one I would ever want to spend my life with. You are my best friend, my lover, the person I have given the key to my heart. My love for you has no end of the day – for my love for you is everlasting. I do not need others to confirm this; I only need to know my heart. Despite our time apart, that feeling has not changed; in fact, it has only intensified, and I very much regret letting other things get in the way of me showing that to you every day.
I’m not asking you to go back to how it was. Instead, I’m asking you to go forward, to a new start, a new beginning. I hope that in your heart, somewhere, a little bit of “us” still exists. I know I am not perfect. I know I made some terrible mistakes, and I am very sorry for them; there is not a day that goes by that I don’t deeply regret them. But I have heard it said the past does not erase the future; you learn from your mistakes and become a better person, So I ask that you consider reopening your heart to a future with me, That you allow me to show you that I am still very much the man you fell in love only better having learned from my mistakes. Open your heart once again to us, and I will ensure that every day of our lives will be nothing short of a remarkable and passionate love affair.

There was a Time

There was a time when I would see your face when I looked at any woman.  But that was only an illusion, no more real than any of the times you said the words I love you.

There was a time when I thought I had found my soul-mate in you. But that was only an illusion, no more real than the times you said that you wanted to share your life with me.

There was a time when I believed we would never come to an end. But that was only an illusion, no more real than your what your true feelings were for me.

There was a time but it was only an illusion.

Who gets the couch?

It was just her and me again on a beautiful summer Saturday like so many we had shared before, but on this Saturday, that familiar look in her eyes was gone. That look that greeted me on so many mornings and said good night on so many evenings. That look that said I was her man, her hero, and she loved me. That look that I thought would always be mine now was replaced with rage. Her voice, the same one that used to say I love you, was now spewing anger and venom in my direction. To be clear, I was no angel in this encounter; my words back at her were filled with just as much hate and anger as hers. And what had brought us to this ugly place? What was this argument, our last argument, about? A couch, a stupid couch, who gets to keep the stupid couch? There I was standing in front of and yelling about a stupid couch to the woman who all I ever wanted to do from the moment I first saw her was take her in my arms, hold her tight, look into her eyes and tell her I loved her. Looking back, it’s pretty clear now what that Saturday afternoon was all about for me; I won’t pretend to say what it was about for her, and it wasn’t about a couch. It was about us, and my words of anger that day were, in reality, cries of desperation.

Desperation to hold on to something I loved. Desperation not to see it come to an end. We were something I had put everything emotionally into; she wasn’t just some chick I had hooked up with. She was the woman I pushed all my chips to the center of the table and went all-in on. She was the woman I unequivocally surrendered my heart to. She was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Together we were what no one could tell me wasn’t meant to be. Then it all fell apart, and everything I had imagined, the happily ever after, was no more. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t true, but the look in her eyes said to me that it was. In the end, love is crazy like that; it can still hold your heart even when the only thing left is to decide who gets to keep the couch.


She’s just a memory now, a dream slowly fading from my sight; Yet each day I wonder if she’s alright and while it’s true she’s never coming back I can’t help but ponder does she ever wonder back.She’s just a memory now, a dream slowly fading from my sight, Yet each day, I wonder if she’s alright, and while it’s true she’s never coming back, I can’t help but ponder does she ever wonder back.