Message from above
Genesis 1:27 And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
So I created humanity? Not Americans, Mexicans, Chinese, etc but humanity as a whole and children no matter what nationality label you put on them are the most vulnerable and precious part of my creation. Hmmm yet you still divide the beautiful resources of this unique planet I gave you instead of sharing it with one another. You still believe it is morally correct to stand up and proclaim America or insert whatever country you want first while others suffer.
Well I see as a species despite the gift of thought that I blessed you with you still have much to learn. Let me give you a little head start, try proclaiming this -Humanity first
Inside the complex mind of the most Intelligent human resides the mind of a child. A mind unfiltered by society’s beliefs and prejudices. A mind that does not see ethnic background, nationality or color of their skin. A mind that does not distinguish between gender or sexual orientation. A mind that does not value someone based on socio-economic standing. But a mind that simply sees another human, a smiling face to interact with. The beauty in its simplicity can not be fully described by even the most complex of minds.
Over the past few weeks my Facebook feed has been filled with pictures of my friend’s children graduating elementary, high school or college. Going to the junior prom or the prom. All of them accompanied by posts expressing pride at their children’s accomplishment or bemoaning the fact that the years have gone by so fast. I admit that I look at these posts with both jealousy and regret. Jealousy that I don’t have what they have. Regret that I made so many wrong turns in my relationships that I screwed up any chance of having it.
Growing up I believed that I would live the fairy tale, marry the love of my life, have two children of our own and adopt one to provide a loving home to a child in need. But life more often then not is not a fairy tale. The character Sonny in Bronx Tale said – You’re only allowed three great women in your lifetime. In my life I have had three long term serious relationships each of which started out with the thought that this might be the one, my soulmate, the woman I start a family and grow old with. Each ended with a broken heart and me thinking well here I am again. Each one was devastating in its own way but none more than the last one.
She was the first and only woman that I asked to marry me and when she said yes I thought finally I had found the one, my soulmate, the woman I would grow old with. The woman I would post pictures of our children’s accomplishments on Facebook with. She came into the relationship with two children and she was upfront that she wouldn’t have another child. Despite that as time went on I started to feel more and more as I finally had found the family I always wanted. I knew I could never take the place of their father, who was still very much in their lives, but still it felt like a true family. Only weeks before the breakup the oldest child drew four pictures. Her mommy, her sister, herself and me and put them up on the refrigerator. Looking at those pictures brought a huge smile to my face because it was confirmation that not only did I see us as a family but they did as well. So when only a few weeks later my fiancée informed me that she was now my ex fiancée it wasn’t just breaking up with her it was breaking up with my family. I won’t lie it was my lowest point I had never been so depressed and it took me awhile to find myself again but I eventually did. Despite that I still wonder if my window has closed. That I will never find that woman to grow old with. That I never will be able to post with pride pictures of my children’s accomplishments on Facebook. Not that I’ve given up hope and I’m still out there swinging but I still wonder and hope that my window is cracked open just a little bit.