There’s a chill in the air tonight, and my bed feels especially chilly because you’re not here with me. It’s true, I still think about you, and how we would cuddle on nights like this, talking and laughing. The look in your eyes warming me like a summer night. There was never anyone like you before, and while there have been others, there has never been anyone like you since. The others all had qualities that made them unique, and though I know I shouldn’t have, when I compared them to you, they could never quite measure up to you. Each kiss only reminded me of the kisses we shared. Each smile only made me long for yours that much more. I suppose the thought of you and what we had will always haunt me. My heart still belongs to you. If that is a good or bad thing, I don’t know, but I know it is true.
Days weeks months, that’s how long I told the world I didn’t even think about you anymore. But that was a lie and whenever I let my guard down you were there in my memories. Reminding me of the time we walked down that street, ate at that restaurant, listened to that song, or saw that movie. I would do my best to push you out, but I couldn’t, the memory of us and what we were was too strong and it hurt, it hurt a lot.
There have been others since you, they’ve come and gone, none lasted for very long. I would asked myself why? Was I subconsciously compared them to you? Was I being too protective of my heart? Was I building a wall around it, so no one could ever walk away from and break it again? The truth is I was doing all those things and more
But time has a funny way of healing you. For me it was a daily grind and I came to realize that trying to forget someone you loved as much as I loved you is… well it’s impossible. But I got a little stronger each day and slowly I began to remember who I was before you and I started picked up the pieces. Slowly and meticulously I put them back together. The scar where you once resided in my heart still a vivid reminder of us. But not a symbol of pain anymore.
Today I’m strong enough to remember the good and bad and the love we shared. The thought of you is no longer painful, no longer an obstacle to my moving forward. Now when I remember what we once had it brings a smile to my face. I guess that is because deep down there will always be that special place that you occupy in my heart and I’m okay with that because I’m strong enough to remember you now.
Quietly I sat looking pass her and out the window at the raindrops as they danced to the ground and wondered to myself; How did we even get here?
The rain, I have always loved the rain. Each rainstorm a thing of beauty, with its bolts of lightning and booms of thunder. How it makes the sidewalks glisten and the umbrellas dance. But what I really love about the rain is the thing that makes each storm unique and that’s its voice. Close my eyes and I can hear each story that it tells. There was one story, one I’ll never forget, a love story, my love story, and not to be egotistical but if you saw it you wouldn’t forget it either.
We sat in the car as the storm swirled all around us. Its lightning streaked across the sky illuminating the night, its raindrops danced merrily on the roof and with each thunderclap its shouted aloud for all to hear, on this night, in this storm, a love affair was about to begin.
It’s in your eyes, what can I say. They turn me on. – Prince
I looked into her eyes, because it was always her eyes, mesmerizing in every way all it took was one look to pull me right in. It was at that moment, in that storm, that I knew there was no escaping her, no turning back. Then she looked back at me and uttered two words kiss me she said. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t resist and with that kiss my heart was all in.
She wasn’t like the others, or so that what I thought, and before I knew it my heart she did possess. She told me she loved me and asked would I always be there. Of course, isn’t it evident, don’t you know I could never love another I said. Looking back now my mistake was crystal clear, I simply forgot to ask her is that the way she also feels.
As the years went by several chapters did we write. Some were good, some were bad, and some a little bit of both. But with each new chapter it was becoming apparent that what had begun as a brilliant love story was beginning to fade.
Now here we sat a storm swirling all around us. A storm not unlike that first storm but also very different. The rain drops did not dance merrily, the lightning did not joyfully streak across the sky and the thunder only mustered a whisper. Like on that first night I looked into her eyes, because it was always her eyes still mesmerizing as ever, but this time all it took was one look to let me go and, in that moment, in that storm I knew right there was no keeping her, no turning back. She looked at me and uttered four words we both know it’s done she said. I knew she was right but couldn’t believe it and with those four words my heart was let go.
I looked out the window at one last lightning bolt as it streaked across the sky, and with one last thunderclap the storm shouted aloud for all to hear, on this night, in this storm, a love affair had come to an end