For the longest I wondered what if I had walked away from that last argument. Would things have been different? Would we still be together? The answer of course is no. Maybe we would have stayed together another day, a week, maybe a month but the end was as inevitable as the start. Drawn to each other, needing each other really for our own separate and selfish reasons. We were destined to be together, but we weren’t destined to stay together. We were lovers before we had a chance to lay a foundation to build on, to become best friends. Without that it was easy to take each other for granted, to push our own wants and needs to the front of the line. No one would ever confuse our relationship as being built on compromise. Yet there was something there wasn’t there? Something that even long lasting relationships don’t have. An electricity between us, an aura, that distinctive quality that seemed to surround and be generated by us being together. You could feel it, other could sense it, the way they would look at us it was clear that two of us together were something special. But love does not last based on an aura. Love last when two people put in the time and effort to keep it alive. An even if two people truly do love each other if they don’t put in that effort the aura will dim, the love will fade. For us the effort was simply not there. It wasn’t our destiny to stay together, not in this life. But maybe our souls will cross in a future life and we’ll get it right as I suspect we have done in past lives. Destiny simply can not be denied.
There was a time when I would see your face when I looked at any woman. But that was only an illusion, no more real than any of the times you said the words I love you.
There was a time when I thought I had found my soul-mate in you. But that was only an illusion, no more real than the times you said that you wanted to share your life with me.
There was a time when I believed we would never come to an end. But that was only an illusion, no more real than your what your true feelings were for me.
There was a time but it was only an illusion.
Quietly I sat watching as the rain fell outside my window; the random beauty of a rainstorm is something I have always appreciated. The way the drops glisten when they hit the concrete, the intricate movements of umbrellas as they dance among each other through the streets. The bolts of lightning and the booms of thunder. Each storm seemingly so random each one a true thing of beauty. Yet what really makes a storm special is its uniqueness and that uniqueness is in its voice. Close your eyes, clear your mind, listen closely and you’ll hear it and the story it tells. One such story was a love story, actually my love story and to be truthful and not the least bit boastful this particular love story is one that no one could ever forget.
The storm swirled all around us its voice booming, its raindrops dancing merrily on the car’s roof, its lighting joyfully streaking across the night sky. Each bolt lighting up the sky and heralding the pending arrival of thunder’s booming voice. A voice that on this particular night, in this particular storm, would proclaim for all to hear that a truly epic love story was about to begin.
It’s in your eyes, what can I say. They turn me on. – Prince
Her eyes, it was always her eyes, truly mesmerizing they were. All it took was just one look to tell me what I needed to know and just like that her eyes pulled me in. Happily I knew right at that moment there would be no escaping, no turning back. Kiss me she said and even though I knew it was wrong I could not resist. And with that very first kiss my heart was all in.
She was not like all the others she was special or so I thought and before long I had given her sole possession of my heart. She told me that I would always be her hero and I told her she would always be my queen. I promised her I’d never leave her side and that I’d love her to my dying day. Looking back now my mistake was crystal clear and a rather simple one at that. You see I simply never asked her to promise me the same thing in return.
The years passed by and we wrote several new chapters to our story. Some were great, some were good, some were bad and some were a little bit of each. What had begun as a brilliant love story now was slowly beginning to fade and soon it rather clear, our story would soon come to an end.
It was late one night and we sat quietly as the storm swirled all around us not unlike that first night. This storm however was different from our first. The rain drops did not dance merrily, the lightning did not joyfully light up the sky and the thunder could only muster a whisper. I looked into her eyes, it was always her eyes truly mesmerizing they were and all it took was just one look to tell me what I needed to know and just like that her eyes let me go. Sadly Right at that moment I knew there would be no turning back. It was over she said and while I knew she was right I wanted to believe she was wrong. And with those very last words my heart broke. There was one last lightning bolt that would streak across the sky and then the thunder came and whispered for all to hear that on this particular night, in this particular storm, a truly epic love story had finally come to an end.
Do I regret falling in love?
No not in the least.
It didn’t work out this time and if you must know yes my heart was broken, shattered into a million pieces actually. But while painful, the moment did not break me. Why? Because the moment is but one moment along a longer journey that I am on and I will not be deterred by just one moment. No matter how painful it may have been. I continue my journey unafraid and with a positive attitude. I continue my journey because I have never regretted falling in love and I remain confident that one day my journey will lead me to you my true love.
The stage lights dim and the crowd empties out. The room grows quiet and now it’s just me. It is here in these fleeting seconds that I can finally stop pretending, that I can really be myself.
In these fleeting seconds I take you in my arms look you in your eyes and tell you once more that I love you as we dance the night away.
But these seconds are just that and they are so very fleeting. Now the stage lights begin to flicker and your hand starts to slips from mine. There’s only a few seconds left time for just one last kiss but no more then because the crowd is settling back in and the stage lights have come back up. As always the show must go on and sadly once again our seconds are gone.