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The Art of the bluff – In love it can be devastating

The art of the bluff – In poker the best hand doesn’t always win; a skillful player can force a player with a better hand to walk away from the table simply by playing confidently and raising accordingly. The risk however is great. If the person sitting across from you doesn’t walk away, maybe they know you’re bluffing, maybe their cards are too good to walk away, or maybe they just don’t know any better, whatever it is if they push all their chips to the center of the table and call your bluff… well cards don’t lie and when you turn them over for the world to see, the best hand wins and you’ve been beat.

Love however offers an atypical view of the bluff, like so many things in the world of love the art of the bluff is upside down. You see in love when someone is bluffing, pretending to be all in but really barely in at all, their risk is minimal. If the person in the relationship with them walks away they suffer no loss, after all they weren’t really in love so no harm no foul. But where it really gets crazy is when the person they’re in a relationship with decides to go all in. When this happens the bluffer not only doesn’t get beat, the person who went all in loses everything. You see they say in poker you can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle and in this case the only one who put anything in the middle was the person who believed they were in a relationship with someone who truly loved them as much as they loved them. Here again the cards don’t lie but when these cards are turned over for the world to see, the heart flush loses to…well it loses to everything.

Losing it all can be devastating but it’s how you react after losing it all that determines if this was simply one bad hand that you can learn from or the beginning of the end. The last part of the saying you can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle is – But you can’t win much either – and that’s just it, love is a gamble. To find love you have to be willing to throw yourself in the wind to take a chance. You have to be willing to give your heart to some person who you hardly even know and trust that they will not only not break it but in turn give their heart to you. Sure you’ve been down this road and your heart has been broken before so why shouldn’t you just play it safe? Never push all your chips to the middle of the table again. Unquestionably you’ll never get hurt again playing it this way. But you’ll never find love either. You’ll never know that feeling of waking up looking over at the person lying next to you and smiling, knowing that you’re going to grow old with this person, knowing you would do anything for them and that they would do anything for you. And why? Because of love, you love them and they love you and that’s all there is to it. So if you’ve lost a hand recently it’s ok go lick your wounds, give your heart a moment to mend itself and then cash right back into the game. Because after all you can’t find love if you don’t look for love.

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Anger or Forgiveness which path will you take

It is at the very moment someone hurts you that you have two paths directly in front of you.

The first is the path of revenge, the most common of all human reactions, to strike back in anger. It is the easier of the two paths after all as the old proverb goes “revenge is a dish best served cold. The second is the path of forgiveness. This path is not easy, it is not the common human reaction. This path requires that we find it with-in us at the very moment we have been hurt the strength to forgive. It requires that we step back and consider that the very pain inflicted on us may well be the result of a pain carried with-in the other person.

While it is true that the first path may appear more satisfying in the short-term it will only serve to harden our hearts and souls in the long-term. The second path undeniably less satisfying in the here and now allows us to move forward in a positive light and permits our hearts to remain pure. And with that it is clear what path we must take. It is clear we must let forgiveness permeate our souls.