Category Archives: Love

the search for the one

I AM NOT HIM

Lately you’ve been distant. I know something is bothering you, I can only guess at what it is because you won’t let me in.

Maybe you’re worried how I’ll react if you talk to me about what it is. Maybe you think that because you feared his reactions.

Maybe you think that if you let me in you’ll be a burden to me, that you’ll be unloading your problems on me.  Maybe you think that because that’s how he made you feel.

Maybe you think I won’t try to understand your problems.  Maybe you think that because he never did.

Maybe you think I just don’t care.  Maybe you think that because he really never did.

But what you should know for sure is very simply this – I am not him. Not today, not tomorrow, not on my worst day. You and I are partners and there will never be anything we cannot talk about.  Nothing we can’t work out together.

There will be times I’m not going to understand what you are going through. But I will always be there to listen.

There will be times I will not agree with you. But I will never judge you.

There will be times I will offer you a shoulder to cry on. But I will never take that to mean you’re weak.

There will never be a time I will not be there for you.

I do these things not because I have too but because you are my best friend, my lover and my partner for life and my love for you is everlasting.

I am not him, not today, not tomorrow, not on my worst day.

Everyday

Everyday I want to remember the connection I felt the very first moment I kissed you.

Everyday I want to hear the sound of your voice, have my breath taken away by your beauty, be captivated by your dazzling smile, and be drawn in by your mesmerizing eyes,

Everyday I want to be able to smile, laugh out loud with and talk to the most intelligent, insightful and unique woman I have ever met.

Everyday I want to lay down to sleep knowing you are right there next to me.

Everyday I want to be able to wake up next to and kiss the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.  The woman who stirs my passion like no other.

Everyday I want of our lives together to be nothing short of the remarkable and passionate love affair it is today.

Everyday I want you to know you are my best friend, my lover, my partner for life, the person I have given the key to my heart.

Everyday I want these things because I love you and want you in my life everyday for the rest of my life.

Sunday Morning Coffee

Sunday morning coffee, is there anything better than its aroma as it wafts through the early morning air gently awaking your senses. Easing you into that rare morning where your only responsibilities are to laze around, sip on your coffee and try to conquer the New York Times crossword puzzle. No there isn’t. But if I were to be honest Sunday morning coffee while wonderful on its own always seems a little bit better when shared with someone you love. So I say to you this Sunday morning if you’re drinking your coffee and you’re lucky enough to be sitting across from someone you love and who loves you back you take a minute to savor it, soak it in and enjoy it. Because Sunday morning coffee always taste a little bit better when you share it with someone you love.

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One Turn

A while back I wrote a blog post titled suddenly in the stars in which I discussed the role destinity plays in finding your soulmate.  With the season of love upon us I repackaged part of that post to express my current feelings.  Now I know repackaging blog post is a bit fugazy but some of you reading this never read the other post so it’s all good.  Plus they do it in Holloywood all the time 😄  So enjoy

As Valentine’s Day approaches I find myself pondering the randomness of life. One step to the left or one step to the right could start a series of events that change the course of your entire life. Sometimes that turn leads to that special someone and it becomes clear that everything up until that very moment was in preparation for it. You will never forget the moment you first:

Smiled at each other
Made each other laugh
Held each other’s hand
Kissed each other’s lips
Said I love you to each other

If you have been so lucky, soak it up. Bask in the euphoria, shout it so that all that can hear, show it so that all can see and let no one dampen your enthusiasm for your love.

For those whose turns have led to false starts, fleeting affairs and dead ends. For those who may be experiencing feelings of despair this Valentine’s Day. Fear not remember life is random and while your last turn may not not have led to that someone special the next one or the one after just might. Until then revel in your own awesomeness and awesome you are and take comfort in knowing that your someone special is out there turning too just waiting to turn into you.

 

Alone on Valentine’s Day – Three steps to Happiness

You just went into Rite Aide to buy some toothpaste and everywhere you looked there were reminders of that February holiday coming up, Valentine’s Day. For many Valentine’s Day is a happy occasion it’s the one “official” day in the year in which we express our feelings of love for that someone special, feelings that we do or should express every day, but even though we should express those feeling every day let’s remember the important reason for this “official” day of expression, the economy, because without it how else could the florist justify that ridiculous marked up for roses. But I digress let get back to the topic at hand. While so many find Valentine’s Day to be a day of joy and love for others it can be overwhelming. No one to send flowers to or receive flowers from. No dinner date. No one’s hand to hold as you walk down the street. No one to cuddle with as the day draws to an end. For many this “official” day of love reminds them that they are single and while they have been telling themselves and anyone who would listen that they love being single when faced with so much love being thrown in their face they are forced to face an ugly truth, being single sucks. Not that they would ever admit it to anyone. So, they solider on smiling and laughing on the outside while crying on the inside determined not to show anyone how they truly feel. Of course, this facade makes it impossible for anyone to offer them a shoulder to lean on, because as far as everyone can tell they’re just fine. So, that leaves it up them to right the ship on their own and boy that’s not easy. If you’re one these people let me offer my unsolicited three steps plan to start the healing process. Step one is to understand that being single does not mean you are alone. If you took a step back and counted your friends, friends who love you and are always there you would know you are not alone. If you took a step back and thought about your family. Mothers and Fathers, Brothers and Sisters, Aunt and Uncles and those countless cousins who love you to death you would know you are not alone. Romantic relationship may come and go but many of your friends and families have been in your life longer than you can remember and they don’t plan on going anywhere. The second step is not too despair, not too give up hope. Once hope is lost gone is any chance of finding the happiness you are seeking. You see life is a journey and each day represents a new step and each new step represents new possibilities. One day that next step will lead you to the happiness you are seeking but only if you can maintain the strength to take that next step. So, don’t despair. The last part of the process is to not give up on love. It may have hurt, left a giant scar on your soul. But rather than run from it, hide from it, pretend it doesn’t exist, you should embrace it, learn from it, grow from it, gain strength from it. Make your hurt a symbol of strength, of survival.  Make your hurt a symbol of your rebirth. So, there you have it three steps for you to follow on your journey back to happiness.  Good Luck

 

 

The Art of the bluff – In love it can be devastating

The art of the bluff – In poker the best hand doesn’t always win; a skillful player can force a player with a better hand to walk away from the table simply by playing confidently and raising accordingly. The risk however is great. If the person sitting across from you doesn’t walk away, maybe they know you’re bluffing, maybe their cards are too good to walk away, or maybe they just don’t know any better, whatever it is if they push all their chips to the center of the table and call your bluff… well cards don’t lie and when you turn them over for the world to see, the best hand wins and you’ve been beat.

Love however offers an atypical view of the bluff, like so many things in the world of love the art of the bluff is upside down. You see in love when someone is bluffing, pretending to be all in but really barely in at all, their risk is minimal. If the person in the relationship with them walks away they suffer no loss, after all they weren’t really in love so no harm no foul. But where it really gets crazy is when the person they’re in a relationship with decides to go all in. When this happens the bluffer not only doesn’t get beat, the person who went all in loses everything. You see they say in poker you can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle and in this case the only one who put anything in the middle was the person who believed they were in a relationship with someone who truly loved them as much as they loved them. Here again the cards don’t lie but when these cards are turned over for the world to see, the heart flush loses to…well it loses to everything.

Losing it all can be devastating but it’s how you react after losing it all that determines if this was simply one bad hand that you can learn from or the beginning of the end. The last part of the saying you can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle is – But you can’t win much either – and that’s just it, love is a gamble. To find love you have to be willing to throw yourself in the wind to take a chance. You have to be willing to give your heart to some person who you hardly even know and trust that they will not only not break it but in turn give their heart to you. Sure you’ve been down this road and your heart has been broken before so why shouldn’t you just play it safe? Never push all your chips to the middle of the table again. Unquestionably you’ll never get hurt again playing it this way. But you’ll never find love either. You’ll never know that feeling of waking up looking over at the person lying next to you and smiling, knowing that you’re going to grow old with this person, knowing you would do anything for them and that they would do anything for you. And why? Because of love, you love them and they love you and that’s all there is to it. So if you’ve lost a hand recently it’s ok go lick your wounds, give your heart a moment to mend itself and then cash right back into the game. Because after all you can’t find love if you don’t look for love.