Watching Derrick Henry and Cam Akers play last week and this week, I’ve determined the appropriate sports injuries timelines

Hockey Player – Breaks leg misses one shift while trainers adjust his skates

Football Player – Tears ACL and ruptures Achilles out 4-6 weeks

Basketball Player – Spains finger out 3-4 months

Baseball Player – Sprains ankle out 4-6 months

Soccer Player – Shoved to ground presumed dead until the opponent is given a red card. Makes remarkable recovery scores game-winning goal