Something’s Missing

The aroma of french vanilla wafted from my coffee mug, and the sound of raindrops dancing on my window filled the air.  It’s another lazy Saturday morning, and I have so much to be thankful for in these turbulent times.  My health, job, home, and of course, my family and friends. Yet I feel something is missing—that special person to share my life with, the sound of children laughing.  Having been blessed with so much, just the thought of feeling incomplete makes me uncomfortable.  Who am I to feel incomplete when so many in the world today have so much less and are suffering? As a result, I keep the feeling of loneliness deep inside, never letting anyone know my true feelings.  However, on mornings like this, keeping my emotions trapped inside me can prove to be incredibly difficult.  As I sit sipping on my coffee and look forlornly out the window at the raindrops dancing on my windows, my mind pushes aside all I have been blessed with and focusses on my feelings of solitude.  I am determined to see my glass as half full, but I cannot lie; it is often difficult.  If only I had the strength to share my feelings, not be concerned with others’ judgment, to not be so guilt-ridden for feeling this way.  If only I weren’t so good at hiding my emotions, perhaps someone would see the tears my smile hides and ask what’s wrong?  I take the last sip of my coffee, sigh, and vow to myself not to let this get the best of me, to concentrate only on that which brings me happiness.  So why do I feel so sad?

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