Monthly Archives: January 2020

It Wasn’t Happenstance…It Was Destiny

They say life is a series of random happenstances if you take one step to the left instead of the right you could set off a series of events that change the course of your life. But when it comes to you I suspect there was more than happenstance at play. With you I believe it was destiny.

Because it was on the day that I met you I turned left when I always turned right and there you were. I knew immediately that everything up until that moment was preparing me for you. Every step I had ever taken was leading me to you. I had unknowingly been walking a path toward you my whole life.

No one ever has and no one ever will make me feel the way you did when you first:

Smiled at me
Made me laugh
Held my hand
Kissed me
Said I love you

As crazy as it sounds I know that when I turned left when I always turned right it wasn’t happenstance it was destiny.

This Law of Attraction Thing Must Be Real, Because Here You Are

They say the Law of Attraction uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. If that’s true, then you and I are the result of that law.

For the longest time I dreamed about finding someone with not only your physical beauty but also the quality that truly captures my heart and mind your brilliant intellect. It was obvious from the start that I had been dreaming about you all along.

Dreaming that once I found you we would begin a relationship so passionate everyone around us would feel the heat it generates. And they do!

Dreaming that we would work together to conquer any obstacles in the way of our happiness. And we do!

Dreaming that we would connect on such a level all we needed to do was look at each other and know what the other was thinking. And we do!

I believed in you before I even knew you, you are everything I ever dreamed about. So, you know what? This law of attraction thing must be real, because here you are.

 

My Success? My Success is You

I looked up from my laptop across the living room at you, your head buried in your laptop. Once again, we were together physically in the same room but mentally and emotionally we may as well have been on different continents. What happened to us? Once our passion was so strong all we could do was think about each other. Lately tough we were simply going through the motions.

We had become more committed to our work than we were too each other. In the chase for professional and monetary success we forgot that feeling we had when all we had was each other. The anticipation of seeing each other’s smile. The warmth of being in each other presence. The safety of being in each other’s embrace and the feel of our lips pressed against each other’s.  We had convinced ourselves that our happiness could be found in a number and that through hard work we would achieve that number and have everything we wanted in life. Everything that was except what truly made us happy, we forgot about each other.

So, at that moment I put down my work and walked across the living room and pushed your laptop aside. Before you could protest I pulled you close and kissed you like I hadn’t kissed you in a long time. Every bit of passion I had kept hidden from you over the years. Every time I had wanted to tell you how much I loved you but didn’t because I was too busy was all in that single kiss. A single kiss that joined two souls that once were inseparable back together.

You looked at me, a bit confused, and then asked where did that come from? But before I could respond you placed a finger on my lips to quiet me and said you don’t need to say it your kiss already did and yes, I missed us too.

From that day on we have never took each other for granted. We have never let work or the pursuit of money come between us. Sure, we still strived for professional success, but we made sure to keep that chase in perspective. Because after all my love for you is the biggest success of my life.

Can Anybody Find Me Someone To Love

It was a cold January moment and as I was getting ready for work Queen was emanating from my radio

Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you’re doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can’t get no relief,
Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I thought to myself you know when Freddie Mercury wrote those words he probably didn’t realize just how many people he was speaking for. People like me who find themselves alone at this time of the year. Sure, I survived going to the family Thanksgiving dinner solo and answering the dreaded question of when I am going to settle down. Then I made it through that empty feeling of waking up on Christmas morning with no one to smile or hug, and say I love you to as they unwrapped their gift. New Year’s Eve quickly followed and of course there was no special person to kiss as the clock struck midnight. I did it all with a smile, a smile that hid the tears that I kept to myself and only let the mirror see. But the calendar keeps moving and now here comes another hurdle, Valentine’s day. It’s seemingly everywhere. Go to the drug store and there are heart shaped boxes of chocolate and teddy bears with I love you sweaters everywhere. Turn on the radio and television and I swear if I hear one more commercial for 1-800-Flowers or Kay Jewelers and their annoying little jingle, every kiss begins with K, I’m going to scream. Even my e-mail account gets in on the fun with a reminder from 1-800-Flowers that Valentine’s day is coming up and I should make it a special one for her by placing my order early this year.

I thought I would be over her by now. I did everything I was supposed to. I focused on myself. dropped a few pounds, brought some new clothes, followed all the self-help books right down to the letter, hell I even stopped going to that psychic who I hoped would tell me that she was coming back. Ask anyone and they would tell you that I’m getting better and I would tell them don’t even think about her anymore. But when I’m alone in my thoughts she is all I can think of.

Why? Why did she leave? Didn’t I show her how much I loved her? Didn’t she tell me she loved me? Freddie Mercury was right, I just can’t get no relief. I don’t understand, is it so much to ask to have someone’s hand to hold, lips to kiss, someone to lay down with every night and wake to every morning, someone to love? In many ways my life seems empty and I wonder will it ever not be. But despite all the heartbreak I do feel myself getting a little stronger each day and when I look in the mirror and see my tears I try to remember who I am and what I can give. I try to remember that I do have someone to love, myself. Now I can’t pretend that remembering that makes all the pain go away but hopefully it will help me understand that one day I’ll have two people to love myself and someone special.

I Never Regretted Falling In Love

I’ve never been a morning person and this morning was no different. Groggy eyed I stared into the mirror as I brushed my teeth when something strange happened, the reflection in the mirror appeared to be talking to me.

Have you ever regretted falling in love? Wished you never met her?

I rubbed my eyes and thought okay I didn’t have anything to drink last night and I know I’m tired but this can’t possibly be happening. Then the reflection asked again.

Have you ever regretted falling in love?

Alright I’ll play along, I mean if nothing else this will be a good story to tell my therapist.  So, I looked in the mirror and said no not at all. Why not? The reflection asked I mean you were really hurt, you’re in therapy, that last relationship really took a toll on you. Yes, it did I replied  I was hurt and I’m not ashamed of being in therapy it’s been really good for me actually.  But the moment didn’t break me. Didn’t it? Asked the reflection. No It didn’t I said because I’ve come to realize that moment is but one moment along a longer journey I am on, and I will not be deterred by just one moment. I will continue my journey unafraid of what lies ahead, confident that one day it will lead me to my true love. So, I say again no I have never regretted falling in love. With that the reflection said great I was just checking to make sure you still believed in love because someone out there believes in it too and one day you’re going to find each other. Oh and by the way I’d keep this conversation between you and me, tell your therapist and they just might think you’re losing it.

The Keys To My Heart

I’ve been hurt. But I must admit when I met you I was captivated by both your beauty and your mind. Even so I was afraid to give my heart to someone again and you told me you understood my trepidation. But you also said I shouldn’t give up on love and that you would be there for me when I was ready to try again. It was scary but I knew deep down that you were one I couldn’t let get away so I took a chance and gave you my heart and every day since then you’ve shown me that I made the right decision

I love the way we talk
I love the way we listen to each other
I love that we never judge one another
I love that when we disagree we still respect each other
I love how for no reason at all we’ll complement each other
I love how when one of us is down the other one carries the load no questions asked
I love how committed we are to each other
I love how we work together to get through our rough patches

Most importantly I love you. I’ve given you the keys to my heart and I’m lucky I didn’t give up on love or else we would never have been, and my heart would never have known what true love really was.

Others May Say

We’ve hit a few bumps in the road lately haven’t we? People are talking, you don’t have to pretend I know you’ve heard it, because I’ve heard it to. It seems people are relishing our troubles.

I knew it.
It was only a matter of time.
They were never meant to be together.
That’s just some of the things they’re saying.

They say that there are others out there who would be better for us. But I know, and I suspect you do as well that no one could ever have as big a place in their heart as we do for each other.

They tell us to focus on the rocky times and ask ourselves is it all worth it. But I see in your eyes, they betray you, and I suspect you see it mine as well the love that still burns in our hearts for each other.

They tell us these things I believe, and I suspect you do as well because deep down they are jealous of what we have.

A passion for each other that is truly uncontrollable.
A love for each other that is truly special
A mental connection so powerful that words are not required to express our feelings for one another

We were meant to be together
We are stronger as us than as you and me

So, let them talk, because I know, and I suspect you do as well that together there is nothing we can’t overcome.