Monthly Archives: January 2015

Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth

Mike Tyson once said – “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” Tom Brady with his smug grin and Bill Belichick with his dismissive attitude both scream we’re better than you. They are arrogant beyond belief and feel they are above the law that is until they are punched in the mouth. The New York Giants proved that not once but twice when their defense stood up to pretty boy Brady and the Patriots and punched them in the mouth. This Sunday the New England Patriots will arrive at kickoff full of arrogance and with a plan. The Seattle Seahawks will punch them in the mouth. Seattle 27 New England 10.image

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you’re doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can’t get no relief,
Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

When Queen’s lead vocalist and pianist the incomparable Freddie Mercury wrote those words as the opening to the song Somebody to Love he may as well have been speaking for the millions of people who find themselves alone at this time of the year. We survived going to the family Thanksgiving dinner solo. The empty feeling of waking up on Christmas morning knowing there would be no smile, no hug, no I love you from our significant other as they unwrapped their gift. No special person to kiss as the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve. We did it all with a smile, a smile that hid the tears that we let only the mirror see. Now comes our last hurdle, Valentine’s day. It’s seemingly everywhere. In the drug store card aisle, on the radio and television, we swear if we hear one more advertisement for 1-800-Flowers or Kay Jewelers and that annoying every kiss begins with K jingle we’re going to scream. The worst reminder, our own e-mail because not only does it remind us that we’re alone but also that we weren’t always. It reminds us of what once was because we forgot to cancel that reminder from 1-800-Flowers that Valentine’s day is coming up and we should make it a special one for (insert name) by placing our order early this year. We thought we would be over this feeling by now. We thought we had done everything right. We focused on ourself. Dropped a few pounds, brought some new clothes, went back to school or got a new job. We followed all the self-help books right down to the letter, hell we even stopped going to that psychic who we had hoped would tell us that (insert name) was coming back. To everyone else we are doing just fine; we’re doing so much better they all say, I don’t even think about them anymore we say. Yet when no one is around and we’re alone in our thoughts we still ask ourselves why? Why can’t I find someone to love? We thought we had showed them how much we loved them and we thought they loved us back. We ask ourselves every chance we get why and yet as Freddie Mercury said we just can’t get no relief. Is it so much to ask to have someone’s hand to hold, lips to kiss, someone to lay down with every night and wake to every morning, someone to love we ask. In many ways our lives seems so empty we wonder will it ever not be. But next time we look in that mirror and see our tears falling down remember our own heart, remember our own soul. Remember who we are and what we can give. Remember we have someone to love and that person is ourselves. As corny as that sounds it’s truer than we could ever imagine. I won’t pretend that it will make the pain go completely away, I won’t pretend that it will completely fill that void of wanting someone to share our life with. I know it won’t because it didn’t for me. But it did help me take a step back and remember just how special I really was and with that realization I came to understand as you will also that one day you’ll have two people to love yourself and that someone special.

Best friends come in all shapes and sizes

imageIn life I’ve been blessed with family and friends who have always been there for me in good times and in bad. One of those friends is a little different from the rest. I’ve know him for 8 years he’s my roommate and one of my best buddies. He’s a big guy but not fat by any means he’s all muscle. He struts around in his brown fur coat all the time. Because of his size and his brown fur coat everyone calls Chewbacca, you know the giant brown wookie from Star Wars. One of the best things about Chewbacca or Chewy for short is that he has never judged me. Now he also has never offered me words of wisdom yet despite his silence I know he cares about me and that he will always be there for me. Chewy is an orange tabby,

All my life I thought of myself as a Dog person but 8 years ago I adopted Chewy and in those 8 years my life has gone through huge emotional swings. I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been, the saddest I’ve ever been and all emotions in between. One thing however remained constant whenever I’ve had a tough day he always seems to know, he’ll pops up next to me and though he can’t talk it’s pretty clear what he’s saying. Hey Carl tough day? Want to talk about it? I mean I can’t answer you or offer you advise but as you know I’m a great listener. But before we begin as always full disclosure when we’re done here you’ve got to put pull it Together for a couple of minutes and fill my food and water dish. I mean those things not going to fill itself.

Animals are cool like that, they don’t judge and they’re always there for you. You should never under estimate how important they are in your life. Here’s to you Chewbacca my cool cat friend your dish is filled.

Who gets the couch?

It was just me and her again on a beautiful summer Saturday like so many we had shared before, but on this Saturday that familiar look in her eyes was gone. That look that greeted me on so many mornings and said good night on so many evenings. That look that said I was her man, her hero and she loved me. That look that I thought would always be mine now was replaced with rage.  Her voice the same one that used to say I love you was now spewing anger and venom in my direction. To be be clear I was no angel in this encounter, my words back at her were filled with just as much hate and anger as hers. And what had brought us to this ugly place? What was this argument, our last argument, about? A couch, a stupid couch, who gets to keep the stupid couch? There I was standing in front of and yelling about a stupid couch to the woman who all I ever wanted to do from the moment I first saw her was take her in my arms, hold her tight, look into her eyes and tell her I loved her. Looking back it’s pretty clear now what that Saturday afternoon was all about for me, I won’t pretend to say what it was about for her, and it wasn’t about a couch. It was about us and my words of anger that day were in reality cries of desperation. Desperation to hold on to something I loved. Desperation not to see it come to an end. We were something I had put everything emotionally into; she wasn’t just some chick I had hooked up with. She was the woman that I pushed all my chips to the center of the table and went all in on. She was the woman I unequivocally surrendered my heart to. She was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Together we were what no one could tell me wasn’t meant to be. Then it all fell apart and everything I had imagined, the happily ever after, was no more. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t true but the look in her eyes told me that it was. In the end love is crazy like that it can still hold your heart even when the only thing left is to decide who gets to keep the couch.